Survivor guest blog: Don't panic?!

DON’T PANIC!?

‘As if it was that easy!’

Panic is a normal response to things being out of control. This is perhaps felt more acutely if you are used to being IN control. I was a 26 year old professional who definitely felt in control of my life before I was run over by a car. What isn’t normal is being flooded by sheer fear, irrationally so, disproportionate to the circumstance(s) that you are faced with. Then, not being able to move, rooted to the spot or feeling like bursting into tears or just wanting a hole in the ground to swallow you up. That is real, paralysing panic: a panic attack!!

There was a time after the accident that I was unable to move, feed and look after myself. All these vital life functions were in someone else’s control. Along with other traumatic experiences this situation can leave people prone to panic. Fortunately I haven’t suffered from many panic attacks but a lot of trauma survivors do – especially as part of post-traumatic stress disorder. At times the attacks come out of the blue, but often they are linked to a situation that that somehow reminds me of the traumatic event.

Here are some situations I remember:

Trying to board the Central Line tube at Bank.The occasion was my first trip to central London after my injury. I had a walking stick and was understandably nervous. As I approached the crowded rush hour train, I looked down at the gap between the platform and the tube. It was MASSIVE! I mean an actual leap away, at least that’s what it felt like! And there were people everywhere! I panicked. I was rooted to the spot. I couldn’t get onto to the train. I just couldn’t. I watched other commuters flood past me and I was left standing on the platform.
Walking up the path from my house towards the road to get a bus for a physio appointment. I just melted down. I irrationally felt that I couldn’t go. I didn’t want to get on the bus.
Walking into work for teaching I could not delay. I saw an ambulance and a cyclist in the road. Immediately I froze. Not a flash back but knowing that this was me only a few years ago triggered fear. Then as I walked closer and past the scene the tears flowed – I was unable to stop them.
Probably the worst example was when I was under a lot of pressure at work. The journey home was fraught with delays. Consequently there were LOADS of people at the station waiting to board buses. This was too much. I panicked, fear paralysed me. I couldn’t get on the bus. I was overwhelmed. I just needed to get away from all the people. I ended up eating alone in a Wagamama’s crying into some rice dish. This wouldn’t have happened before my accident.

Alison was overcome with panic when she tried to board the crowded tube.

So what have I learnt, are there strategies to manage these? Hmmm, I’m not the expert but the most helpful thing is to get your brain to think rationally about you, your circumstances, the outcomes.

Recognise what kind of person you are – are you prone to worry anyway? Would you describe yourself as anxious? If it’s becoming an ongoing issue seek help. Approaches such as mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy may also be useful. Also if you’re a person of faith, often prayer is very helpful.

Pay attention to what are or may be triggers. Eg: similar circumstances, being in high pressured situations. Recognise them and pay attention. Avoid if you need to (this is only a short tern solution). Also prepare for them – not always possible to but employ any strategies you have developed.

Use resources as much as you can. Get that mobile phone, call someone, talk it through get yourself focused on something else and focus your mind on the task. If you can’t talk get them to talk. It’s better to know you are with someone than alone in it. (By the way it’s probably worth prepping someone for this!)

So it’s not so much DON’T panic as in THINK through the panic. Fear is not a bad thing. In fact it is protective. But sometimes it flies out of proportion. We were never meant to be paralysed by fear. It may be a fight to rationalise your thoughts or it may be temporarily impossible. The main thing is it won’t last, its temporary and you are not defined by it.

Survivor guest blog: Don't panic?!

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