Survivor guest blog: Dealing with the everyday

The 'everyday'. This is common to all. What our days hold may well be different in form, content as well as context, but we all ‘deal’ with it! Even IKEA knows this and aims to comfort us with furniture! From the first peep of the alarm clock and body’s gearing up for a new day to the semi-controlled collapse into bed at the end of the day. Every day is the same for humans: a divine mixture of struggles and joys!

So what is different about my ‘every day’? What are the added struggles of having lived through trauma and having a long term neurological condition? What are the joys - and there are some!

Struggles are obvious, if you have read my other blogs you will have found out that there are a number including; panic attacks, and dealing with medical apportionments. So what else…? Every day starts with the slow getting out of bed, working against muscle spasms and stiffness. Most days are tainted with pain more often intermittent but it can be constant, other days are just fatiguing, other times it feels as if I am moving through glue or constant uphill restriction, inefficiently, requiring compensations. I find these boring to talk about or like I am just complaining or being a wimp so often I continue in silence. There are altered patterns of daily life such as the timing of loo stops becomes a cognitive and at times lengthy process (sorry, if that’s TMI!). In addition, being susceptible to blood pressure drops means fluids and food are crucial especially in preparation for the morning commute.

There are a number of awkward moments come when I’m struggling to find the exact change in my purse because my fingers can’t feel the coins properly or when I need to get my case into an overhead locker on the train/aeroplane and my left arm wont stretch up far enough to put it in… hmmm. Awkward. Or I’m rushing around and concentrating on something else and I trip and go flying down onto the pavement… do I laugh or cry?! All too often it is a crushing feeling of my limitations imposing on my life – but at other times I have learnt to see the funny side, usually with the help of a good friend. Then there is the frustration when I want to practice that quads exercise in the gym (having successfully completed my cardio session) -  I then get foxed by simple knee extension. Or I end up walking upstairs with a colleague while talking and I can’t go fast enough… can I say ‘can we slow down please?’?

On the flip side, there are wonderful additions, or joys. Firstly, and quite simply, the sheer delight that I am alive! I can interact with the people that I love and I can interact with my environment, be active within it and participate in society. I do not take that for granted, nor the ability to walk, and run even. Sometimes the fresh dawn of realisation of these abilities is wonderfully overwhelming and leads to cries of thanks. For example climbing Ben Nevis or Snowdon is a serious accomplishment and adds value to what I otherwise would have found just commonplace! I have also learnt that resting (although a new art form for me) is something to be enjoyed, cherished and made time for! My perspective on the ‘important’ things in life is more balanced. When stress levels get too high. When priorities have become skewed. It is easier to bring them into the right perspective. What is most important? Health and happiness? It won't be the end of the world if I do not meet a deadline or don’t honour a commitment to meet a friend…

…so what? Am I dealing well with my ‘everyday’? (with or without IKEA?!) Well, I think I’m having a pretty good go. I guess even in writing this blog it has taught me to reflect and to take stock, to value, and to take time to enjoy and learn from life not just hurtle on through the days. So go on deal with your every day and enjoy it – the ups and the downs – you never know what it will show you.

Published 2nd November 2015

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